This is the Participant Values Agreement. Everyone in the program reads it and agrees to it.

If you are deciding whether this program is a fit for you, this is the page to read closely. Nothing here is gated or held back for after you apply. What follows is exactly what everyone in the program reads and agrees to. People in a leadership role are held to more: see the Operating Committee Values.

Participant Values Agreement

Every participant agrees that:

We reject exclusion in all its forms

We refuse racism, colorism, xenophobia, transphobia, biphobia, homophobia, misogyny, femmephobia, ableism, and patterned microaggressions. We hold ourselves to noticing and addressing the small, repeated behaviors that make a space hostile. The subtle patterns count as much as the obvious ones.

Consent is foundational

We practice kink-informed consent, checked actively and never assumed. Everyone retains the right to withdraw or modify consent at any point, for any reason. Where one person holds more experience or seniority, they carry more responsibility for protecting the boundary, even when the other person is the one testing it.

We show up with curiosity

We approach each other's differences and disagreements with genuine willingness to listen. We give candid feedback with respect, and we receive it as a gift, not an attack.

We are committed to equity and belonging

We hold ourselves to embedding racial equity into every part of this program. This Mentoring Program is for and by men, inclusive of trans men, and welcomes nonbinary, intersex, and gender-expansive people who identify with and participate in masculine-coded spaces, open across every race and ethnicity.

Mistakes don't define a person

We believe a disclosure or a past mistake does not automatically disqualify anyone from belonging here. We hold context, individual review, and conversation as more honest than a blanket rule, and we recognize that criminal-legal systems have disproportionately harmed QTPOC and trans people.

Repair matters more than punishment

We hold restorative repair as a valued path when the harmed party wants it and the person who caused harm shows real accountability and a willingness to grow. We'd rather talk, rebuild, and grow together than default to punishment. Whether or not repair is an option, we will always protect the person who was harmed.

Mental wellbeing is something we protect together

We commit to learning about mental health sensitivities and implicit bias before a crisis forces the conversation. Noticing our own burnout, saturation, or withdrawal is part of caring for the people around us. Hiding it doesn't protect anyone.

Nobody does this alone

We believe asking for help is a strength. We treat leadership, fellow participants, and program resources as things to reach for early and often.

Confidentiality is a form of care

We hold what's shared with us as something to protect. We treat discretion as an act of respect for the person who trusted us.

We are here because sex is worth celebrating

We are here because sex, kink, and pleasure are worth doing well. We hold these values seriously because they're what make this hot, joyful, and safe enough to actually explore in. We believe growing into healthier sexual beings isn't a side effect of this work. It's the point.

Related: Committee Values · How It Works