The program has two roles. Here is what each one is, who it is for, and what it involves.

Mentors

A mentor is someone who has walked the path. They act as a guide, role model, and sounding board, helping a mentee find their footing in the community. A mentor's job is to support, connect, and lead by example. Mentors grow from it too, seeing the scene again through new eyes as they guide.

Who it's for

Experienced folks in the community who are ready to invest in someone else's growth. A mentor can hold a steady, boundaried relationship for nine months and is willing to be held to the program's values while doing it. Mentors, mentees, and the Operating Committee all complete a background check.

The limits of the role

Being clear about what the role does not include protects both people in the relationship.

• A mentor is not a therapist. Mentors support wellbeing and know when to point toward the program's independent mental-health channel. They do not provide clinical care.
• A mentor is not there to fix everything. The job is to walk alongside a mentee, not to take over their choices or run their life.
• A mentor is not expected to know everything. "I don't know, let's find out" is a good answer. Mentors connect mentees to people and resources beyond themselves.

Mentor and mentee relationships have clear boundaries. Romantic or sexual involvement is not permitted during the program.

Apply to be a mentor

Mentees

A mentee is someone looking to grow in skills, community, and confidence, with the support of someone more experienced. You do not need to arrive with a plan or a long history in the community. You need curiosity, a willingness to show up, and an openness to being supported. The mentee is the primary driver of the arc, bringing their own questions and goals and working on them side by side with a mentor.

Who it's for

People earlier in their journey in the leather and kink community who want structure, connection, and a trusted guide. See who the program is for for the full statement on eligibility and belonging.

What a mentee gets

• A dedicated mentor for the full nine months. Most matches are one-to-one, and sometimes a mentor supports more than one mentee.
• At least two contacts a month with that mentor. One in person, and one by phone or video.
• Monthly group sessions with the whole program. Attendance is required for mentees.
• Classes on specific practices, offered as a Major or a Minor, plus one-time Spotlights.
• Independent, confidential channels for mental-health support and for raising concerns, kept separate from program leadership.

Apply to be a mentee

Related: How It Works · Our Values · Apply